Encouraging Each Other

This is a  revised version of a post I made last year. I was feeling led to share these words today, as I know many people are really struggling right now and I want to urge you to keep pressing in and holding on...we need to be real with each other...that's how the church is supposed to be with each other...no fake facades...no turning away from each other in our times of need...no having to endure hardships alone because others aren't comfortable with our pain...

Life is not easy. It can be ugly and dirty and painful. It was  that way when Jesus walked the earth, it remains so today and  it will stay that way until Christ comes again. Life is going to get harder, not easier. The longer I walk with Him and the closer I get to Him, the more relentless the attacks are by the enemy. The Lord said it would be that way.  He said families would turn on each other......He said  the wheat would be separated from the chaff and we shouldn't be surprised when we see these things. There will be wars and rumors of wars, and famines, droughts and pestilences and natural disasters and people turning away from God and living selfish, sinful lives…we are seeing the many things that were prophesied,  unfolding before our eyes.

We have people here, that suffer daily with physical illness, mental illness, emotional pain and scars. We have people who have been beat up and chewed up by the world...  they've been rejected and bullied and misunderstood. Sounds like what happened to  Jesus doesn't it? He said we would be persecuted if we follow Him and we are to count it all joy when we suffer for Him… we will be rewarded one day for enduring hardships in His name...life is hard, but God is good...there is a reward at the end..this isn't all there is...greater things await us!

We are here to help each other by being the hands and feet of Jesus to each other. Some days... we will be doing good and we can lift someone else and the next day, we may need to be lifted up. God is drawing us all close, so we can help each other to keep our eyes on the prize that awaits. We only have this day... we only have this moment. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow. Some days it’s easier to endure than others. Jesus knows what that’s like. That’s what the Garden of Gethsemane was about…to show us He knows first hand what it is like to have anxiety and fear… to ask for burdens to be taken away…He is our example. What did Christ do when He knew he was about to face more pain and heartache and rejection and oppression than anyone has ever endured? HE STOOD FAST ON HIS FATHER’S PROMISES! He didn't give up, He didn't give in. He relied on His Father’s strength and the promise of  a resurrected and redeemed life, that was waiting at the end.

My brothers and sisters…I know what we deal with is hard, but it’s not by our might or our power but by His. His power in us will allow us to persevere. When we are weak, He is strong. We don’t do it by ourselves…it’s with His help and the help of our brothers and sisters. We may not have real life people to count on. Our circumstances may be precarious and ready to implode, but God is with us and He will not fail us. We just have to stand fast on His promises. We have to trust and obey and take one day, sometimes... one moment at a time.

 If we resolve one crisis, we will just be met with another... count on this...but the good news is,  we are only passing through here...this is just our temporary home! This is just a small blip on our eternal radar screen…we can do this thing called life, with all its heartache and pain and illness and suffering and loss, because Christ tells us we can do all things through Him.  Be encouraged, this is the dark before the morning! Better days are coming. Keep in the word. Keep in prayer. Cling to the hem of His garment. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it when you hear Him say “well done my good and faithful servant!”  We will stand with Him one day and all the hurts of this world will fade into memory and you will bask forever in newly healed and restored bodies that do not have painful memories  and we will be filled with God’s love and peace and everlasting  joy.

Please don’t give up or be discouraged. We are all in this together… for each other... and we have the Holy Spirit who is with us as our constant comforter. You are not alone and you are so loved by the Lord and me. He brought you all here. This is no mistake or accident..only divine appointment. Trust Him friends. You can make it. I’m cheering you on and we have a heavenly host of angels cheering us on as well! We can not fail. The victory is already won and assured. Rest in Him. I love you and am standing in the gap for you!

Why Do People Hurt People?

Today, for the first time, I am pleased to welcome Anne Peterson as a guest blogger!

Why do People Hurt People?

by Anne Peterson

I can’t speak for everyone. Though I’ve been known to come across that way. I can speak for myself. I have hurt people. More than once. And the sad thing is, I will hurt people again.

Not because I want to. Even though it may look like it at the time.

I hurt others because I’m hurting. Something you did or said touched a wounded part of me. For years, I’ve heard it said, “hurting people hurt people.” It’s true.

God faithfully reminds me this. But, from the moment the chard of glass comes flying in my direction, my first impulse is to stop the pain. My second impulse is to react to the one who threw it.

For some, our radar is always working. Just a raised eyebrow or a look of disgust can elicit a response to lash out against the perpetrator.

We become porcupines. Creatures who immediately put out our quills when we get poked.

Some of our deepest wounds come from friends, family members, those we trusted.

So, what do we do when someone hurts us?

Sometimes we strike back which adds gasoline to the fire. Some people withdraw.

Withdrawal

I’m not talking about stepping back for a breather and a more clear perspective. Some people withdraw as punishment.

When I was 14 years old, my friends invited me to go bowling. When I asked my mom she said “no. You have work to do, it’s Saturday.”

At that time, going bowling mattered more to me, than obedience. So, even though she said no, I asked my dad. He didn’t know my mom had already said no and my dad said, “yes.”

I went bowling. And except for the weight of guilt I brought with me, I had fun. But eventually I had to go home.

Instead of getting hit, which I expected, my mom had a different idea, she ignored me. Not for a couple of hours, or even a day. For 3 days, my mom acted as if I didn’t exist. I pleaded, cried, and begged her to talk to me. Nothing worked.

Years later, in a psychology class I learned giving someone the silent treatment is one of the highest forms of cruelty.

Don’t get me wrong, my disobedience was wrong. But, the way she dealt with it was harmful. Two years later when my mom died, my grief was even harder. In my troubled mind, her silence meant she was mad at me.

Quitting

Some people leave a relationship when they get hurt. They quit. Leaving is the silent treatment to the max. *Note: There are times when a person should leave as is the case with abuse. I am not referring to this.

Sometimes people who leave haven’t learned how to deal with conflict. Once their “hurt button,” gets pressed, frantically, they try to deal with unresolved memories. When you observe people reacting with more emotion than the event warrants, a wounded place was probably touched. They are in extreme pain.

While lashing out is one option, withdrawal is another, and quitting is still another. May I suggest another option? Forgiveness.

First of all, let me say forgiveness is not saying what the other person did was okay. It is not minimizing the offense.

Forgiveness is a choice to forgive the person who hurt you.

It’s not keeping score. Forgiveness is like taking an Etch a Sketch, and turning it over, shaking it. While traces of the hurt can still be seen, you decide to make a new picture. Over time, the lines become almost invisible. Forgiveness is putting it behind you.

When forgiveness is impossible

The only way we can forgive is with God’s help. He is the master of forgiveness. God forgave us by letting Jesus die a tortuous death on a wooden cross. And when Jesus died, all was forgiven at that moment. Even disobeying my mom.

Knowing God forgave me enables me to extend forgiveness to others. I didn’t deserve forgiveness, yet God forgave me. And when we get hurt by someone, God’s Holy Spirit gently reminds us “forgive, like I forgave you.” We have a choice.

Is it easy? No. Impossible things are never easy.

We read in Luke 18:27, “Jesus says what is impossible with man is possible with God.”

As long as we breathe we will have opportunities to forgive.

People will hurt us. We will hurt others. But God can help us ask for forgiveness when we hurt others. He can help us extend forgiveness when others hurt us.

God wants us to forgive. It’s his plan. 

Anne is a poet, speaker, and freelance author of numerous Bible Studies and articles with Christianity Today. Anne's poetry is sold throughout the US and in countries abroad. If Anne isn't writing she's having fun with her grandsons, Jude and Charlie. You can visit her website at www.annepeterson.com or check out her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/annepetersonpoetry

Check out Anne's new book which is available for free today on Amazon.com

Real Love: Guaranteed to Last

By Anne Peterson

Do People Become Angels When They Die?

I receive Biblical and theological questions from readers and one of the most frequently asked questions is, "do we become angels when we die?" The answer to that question is, no. Here are some scriptural references for you to check out and some links as well. It brings comfort to many to think that their loved ones are watching over us as their own guardian angels, but the truth is, we were created differently than angels and nowhere in scripture does it say we become angels. Here is what Billy Graham has to say on the subject...

The truth is, when we die and go to heaven we become even greater than the angels! The angels are spiritual beings who were created by God to be His servants, and God has given them great authority and power to do His will. And at the present time the angels are greater than we are, because God made us "a little lower than the heavenly beings" (Psalm 8:5).

But the Bible also says that in heaven we will be higher than the angels—and the reason is because we will be like Christ. The Bible says, "Do you not know that we will judge angels?" (1 Corinthians 6:3). While this verse may be referring to the rebellious angels who chose to follow Satan, it still implies that our status after death will be above that of the angels.

Do People Become Angels When They Die- Calvary Chapel Ontario

The Doctrine of Angels- Bible.org

Billy Graham Answers Questions About Angels

Greg Laurie Answers Questions About Angels

Greg Laurie on Guardian Angels

Valentine's Day Outreach For The Lonely And Broken-Hearted

Valentine's Day is coming up in less than a month and for many it is a sad, lonely day. For the widowed and divorced, it brings feelings of sadness and longing for the love that is lost. For the single and unmarried, it can be hard as they are painfully aware of their  unrealized hopes and dreams. The lonely on this day range from teenagers, to the aged in a convalescent home. Feeling unloved, can apply to kids in the foster care system, or someone who is home bound because of disability. Feeling sad on Valentine's Day is  not just a female thing. I've heard from teen boys, as well as grown men. The need to feel loved and cared for is universal to us all. Valentine's Day does not just have to be about romantic love.

The first few years after I was divorced, I really felt the stab of being alone on Valentine's Day. What I chose to do instead of dwelling on my sadness and feelings of rejection, was to reach out and let others know that they were loved. I had always done this, even when I was married, but it became more of a mission after I was divorced. I tried to take the focus from myself and all the sad feelings I had, and  tried to let others know that they were loved. I won't say that it totally took the sting away, but it did give me something else to focus on besides the pain of the day.

Because of my ministry to  the broken-hearted, I know there are many that are already dreading this day. The reminders are all around in the media, in  the stores, etc. The Lord has really impressed on my heart an idea that I would love to see spread like wild-fire around the world.

The best way to help yourself is to help others and that's what I would like to see people do for this Valentine's Day. Instead of staying home and feeling miserable on the 14th, do something for someone else. You can start planning now. I think this idea is great for the those who will be alone on Valentine's Day, but this is something that churches, youth groups, Bible studies, life groups,groups on school campuses and other organizations can pick up on as well.

For an individual, there is distraction and comfort in planning and executing what you will do leading up to the Valentine's Day. For groups, you have time to put something together by starting now. What I propose is this...there are kids in foster care that need to know that they are loved and that they matter to someone. There are lonely people who do not think they matter to anyone in nursing homes and V.A. hospitals. There are single parents and the widowed who feel the loss of what they used to have. There are people who are home bound due to illness, injury or disability who never receive visitors or words of care or affection.  There are teens who are bullied or possibly neglected at home... they just need to know that they matter in this world and that someone thinks they are beautiful.

This can be a day to share the love of God with so many that are lonely. Until you've walked in those shoes, you cannot imagine the impact a card, a meal, a visit, meeting a need, taking care of a project around their home, receiving a gift or flowers can make on someone who never receives those things. So, I want to challenge you for this Valentine's Day, look beyond yourself. If you are lonely, you know the feelings all to well. So, reach out and help someone else to feel loved.  For groups, couples, families, churches...reach out and share love anywhere you can! Take on multiple people or groups or projects. Send cards, do visitations, prepare a meal or a gathering, bring gifts. Let people know that they matter and that they are not alone!!  I have come to know first hand,  there are millions of people around the world who are dealing with broken hearts, loneliness, feeling unloved and unwanted. You won't have to go searching for people to reach out to...they are all around you.  So here are some ideas for people you can reach out to...  let  your creative juices start flowing and let's start a tsunami of love that covers the world this Valentine's Day! Please share this and pass it on.

Foster care facilities, youth facilities, orphanages
Children's Hospitals
Hospitals
Hospice
V.A Hospitals
Nursing homes, Rehab facilities
Residential care facilities for those with special needs
Widowed
Divorced/Single Parents
teens
Homebound
Homeless shelters
Homeless on the streets
Singles
Military spouses whose significant others are away

Forgiveness

Earlier today I made a post about forgiveness on my facebook page. After reading many of the comments, I feel like I should clear up a few things about what forgiveness means.

1. Forgiveness is not easy...saying the words is easy, but to truly forgive takes prayer and faith and continual giving it over to God until it does not bother you any longer.  When you can think on the wrong doing and not have it bother you any longer, then you know that you have truly forgiven.

2. God commands us to forgive. It's not optional. He is our example and if He can ask His heavenly Father, to forgive those who nailed Him to a cross, we can learn to forgive with His help. There is absolutely nothing that is impossible to forgive with God's help. With really traumatic events, we must work through the pain and the grief though. Forgiving is not sweeping something under the rug and pretending it didn't happen. That will only come back to haunt you later.

3. Forgiveness, does not mean you are excusing, or condoning bad behavior.

4. Forgiveness is for you. It's not for the person that wronged you. It is to set you free. It is so you are not held prisoner paying the price for someone else's wrong doing. 

Forgiving is for you and you alone. Often the person who has done the terrible deed, feels nothing...no shame, no remorse, they may even have forgotten the event, but we can stay trapped in bitterness, anger and unforgiveness for years...having it effect our emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well being, while the other person is absolutely oblivious to our pain. Unforgiveness rarely harms the other person. Usually, we are the only victim of our unforgiveness.

5. Forgiveness is between you and God. You do not have to go to the other person. Forgiveness is you handing over the wrongdoing and the person who did it and saying "Lord, I give this to you so you can deal with it. It is between you and them now, so I can be free."

6. Forgiveness does not mean that you "forget" the wrong that was done to you. Forgiveness is like cleaning out a wound. If you don't clean out a wound, it festers, hurts and it doesn't heal properly. Once it is cleaned out, it can heal. Once healed, you will always have the scar but it doesn't hurt anymore.

7. Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. Some people are unrepentant. They may not feel  like they have done anything wrong. Perhaps, they  may be sorry for the moment, but you know that the bad behavior will continue for whatever reason. God does not call us to be in abusive relationships. He does not call us to be doormats, or to remain in relationships that are toxic or unhealthy. We are allowed as Christians to set appropriate boundaries for ourselves to protect ourselves and our families. To have boundaries that include distancing yourself from someone, does not mean that we hate someone, or that we have not forgiven  them. We should continue to pray for that person.

So, how do you learn to forgive? First you pray about it. Then I would suggest that you pick a time when you have lots of time and you are alone and you write down for each person that you need to forgive, everything that they have done that has bothered you. After each offense, write the phrase, I let this go, so I can be free. Write down everything you've ever wanted to say to them, that you haven't said, or couldn't say. Perhaps the person you need to forgive is dead, it doesn't matter if they are alive or dead, if you see them or don't see them. Just release everything on paper. You are not going to mail this to them or give it to them or read it to them. This is for you only. Many people think they will feel better if someone apologizes. Many people think if they can just make someone understand how they've been hurt then a light bulb will go off in the person’s head and they will apologize. That may happen occasionally, but more often than not, the wrong doer turns around and piles guilt on the victim and takes no responsibility. The victim ends up feeling even more pain and anger and ends up being victimized all over again. That is why you don't need to hear the words "I'm sorry, please forgive me" from someone to forgive. Forgiveness is truly between you and God for your benefit. As you write your letter, you may cry for awhile. Many people do,depending on how deep the hurt is. After you have written the letter, then you shred it or burn it. You don't save it so you can re-read it at a later date. You are letting these things go so you can be free.

Now, your mind might continue to go back to the wrongs, hurts or anger even after you have written your letter. This  is where you have to train your mind. The enemy would love to take you back to that place and let you feel that you are not set free. Memorize the verse Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.. When you find yourself starting to go back to those familiar thoughts and feelings, automatically remember this verse and think on God's word. Think on things like, "Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed". Think of something pleasant and peaceful. Just don't let your mind go back there to that place. Continually ask the Lord to heal you and to help you let go. To just say you are not going to think those thoughts won't do it. You have to replace the negative thoughts with a good, positive thought. The more you do this, like exercising a muscle, it will take less and less time to make the thoughts go away and eventually it will rarely come into your mind.

Here is a great video by Corrie Ten Boom on how to forgive. For those that don't know, Corrie and her family were Christians who were put in concentration camps for helping Jews during the war. She lost several family members in the camps and she was spared through a miracle of divine intervention. She had a lot to forgive. This is a very powerful message.